Cliches are words and imagery that are repeated often enough in stories that they become too familiar — such as the American Dream, a butterfly as metamorphosis, and offices filled with quiet desperation.
I go to an office filled with quiet desperation every day.
Maybe that’s only what it seems like to me. So then, perhaps I’ve become a cliche. Like every person who ever wanted to be a writer but never really came close to being published. I used to live vicariously through blogs of famous authors, trying to soak in all the details of how they push through the creative process, with all the editing and revising with their editors until the final work is a gem that sells millions of copies. That’s not where I am now.
It’s not that anything bad is happening. I recently found a cheap-ish apartment, it’s a stable job that pays alright. I’m with someone who also seems very steady and reliable. I am dissatisfied. It feels like I’ve learned enough in a place with rules that change ever so slightly all the time, but because it’s not that noticeable, will come to hurt my work status. A lot of minutiae detail that don’t seem to matter. But they do, because they affect my credibility.
Nerd cred isn’t something I value, which is why I have pretty much none. The only cred I have might be travelers’ cred, which is not valuable in technology companies. But I don’t think I’m in the wrong industry, because I sincerely enjoyed building this computer. Where’s a technology company with less one-upping nerd culture when you need one? Am I qualified to apply? Is this a unique mindset?
Maybe it’s not that cliched after all? Maybe you can tell me.